By Tom Drewing

I was sitting here, reading my favorite pundits and the phone rang. The caller ID thingy said, “Unknown caller”. Usually this means someone wants some money from me to support whatever *cause*. I answered anyway because sometimes I just do. Heck…sometimes I even donate some money. This one was no different. It was the RNC. They had a quick one question “poll” which as usual, is designed to prime you for donating. Usually I find this kind of Sales 101 stuff kind of funny. I mean, c’mon. Am I really dumb enough to believe they want my opinion? That they are busily gathering all of our opinions to craft some sort of previously un-thought-of solution to our national woes? Or are they just stamping on my toe, before asking if I wanna buy a Band-Aid?

At any rate, when I’m in a generous mood, and feel like spending a few minutes either taking the pulse of our fearless leaders’ cash machines, or maybe even offering something in the way of constructive criticism to whatever actual person is on the other end — who may just be smart enough to take some actual information in — and pass it along so that they can at least do a better job of fund-raising, I will listen. If for no other reason than I’m an incurable optimist, and I take a perverse joy in offering my actual opinions to those who don’t really want them, but have asked anyway, because they think it will open a door into my wallet for them.

The question was, “On a scale of 1-5, five being so important the sun might not rise tomorrow and the entire earth will be plunged into darkness!, and one being not at all important (OK, maybe those weren’t the exact words, but it was something like that), how important do you think it is that the Republicans in congress support President Bush?”

Now, this gave a little pause. A few thousand thoughts kind of flitted through my mind for an instant. And since I habitually answer these one question opinion “polls” honestly — and since usually the questions are carefully crafted to excite some preferred emotion among potential donors — I had to hesitate. I stalled for time, because since this had never happened to me before, I thought maybe I had heard it wrong. So, I asked the guy to repeat it, which also gave me enough of an instant for a few more thousand little thoughts to do their flitting, and figure out why this question was different enough to give me pause.

The usual routine, is that the preferred answer is the “5″ answer, since I only get calls from organizations I’ve supported in the past anyway, and its pretty much a slam dunk that I’m going to agree with their general view. Since they aren’t trying to actually find out anything, they always pick some hot-button concern that will excite a reaction. So usually, it’s an automatic “5,” which is their cue to start the pitch.

So the first thought that flitted for me, when I heard the question was, “What the hell difference does it make?” Some of the ones that followed were, “They haven’t so far, and while that hasn’t been good for the country in general, IMO, the president’s moral compass hasn’t changed. And he’s still pursuing what he thinks is *right* even in the face of the lack of his own party’s support. They can damn well climb back on his coat-tails if we happen to win the war, just as easily, without any of my money. And they sure as hell aren’t unified in promoting anything I want to see happen. Sorry. I didn’t see my permanent tax reform while you were there. Didn’t see Social Security reform. Maybe you should have tacked that onto some important pork legislation. Hey! There’s an idea! Maybe carts *belong* in front of the horses!”

I mean, the guy is Shane for Chrissake! Or maybe James Garner in Support Your Local Sheriff. There are all the local community leaders: the banker and the preacher and the saloon keeper and the ranch owners and the mayor and the town council, hiding behind the counter outraged that the bad guys have come into town, and someone else hasn’t taken care of it, leaving them to continue as if there were no threat at all. And they are equally outraged when the sheriff implies that maybe they should be doing something to help change the situation!

Have you ever noticed in these kinds of things, that the lone hero almost always has to not only fight the bad guys, but that he also has to outsmart the good guys, who all have entrenched interests that they will defend, even if it means sabotaging all their neighbors to make sure that when the dust settles that *they* will have more power or wealth or something?

Anyway… So I answered 2. I didn’t want to totally discourage the telephone guy, with a 1, which might also imply I got on his list by mistake and was really a Republican hater. I thought that maybe, he just might ask me for more information. I know, like I said, I’m an incurable optimist. In the past, when I’ve said “5″, then declined to donate, at some point in the “overcoming objections” part of the pitch, I usually get a chance to tell the person why I’m declining. I keep thinking that maybe somewhere, someone in charge of quality control will read a jotted down comment and tweak their pitch a little, or God-forbid, pass on an actual opinion!. (No luck so far on that one.)

This time, I didn’t get a chance to do that though. The person just thanked me for my time and politely hung up. I don’t know what I was expecting. It makes perfect sense from a fund-raising standpoint, not to waste any more time on me and get to the next call. It just had never happened before. It makes me consider what I think about the Republicans.

I don’t think the Republicans in congress or the Republican leadership are bad guys. I think they are mostly good guys. I just wish they’d grow some balls and stand up, even if it makes them less popular amongst each other and/or their immediate constituents. The president has what, about a 38% favorable poll rating right now? Has it occurred to anyone that that is exactly why we have a republic, instead of a democracy, by design? That sometimes a leader will of necessity, have to abandon the emotional cries of the townspeople — even the respectable town leaders — to go ahead and do what is right anyway? Personally, I think that is exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

I have an incurably optimistic plan that maybe some of you will want to join in with, for no other reason than to have fun. I know I’m going to get about 14 gazillion more one-question opinion calls. I’m going to answer all of them “2″. Besides saving me all kinds of time, lame-brain-edly deflecting the objection-overcoming phase of the sales pitch, in order not to throw good money after bad, when the guys who want it apparently don’t really care what I think or want them to do, it may also be a consistent blip on the radar of someone who gets paid to analyze such things, and get them curious about it.

Feel free to join in, or not. I, like you, would really like it if the Republicans or anyone with a lick of sense, figured out that we Americans want to be led. Not pandered to. Not ignored. Not bought off. Led, as in from the front, with the “leaders” own asses hanging out there on the line, with ours. I think Dubya is doing that now. I admire him for it, even though I don’t agree with some of his decisions or strategies. But, I am interested. I wouldn’t spend hours a week reading all these columns, if I weren’t. I for sure wouldn’t have spent the last hour writing up this little anecdote, in hopes of maybe giving someone pause to think a bit.

I also think that there is a kind of ironic twist to the President’s poll numbers these days. They say everyone likes a winner. Well, there’s one thing Americans like even more. That’s an underdog. It’s ironic that our own President is now the underdog. I suppose there will be no shortage of people to stand up and talk about how great he was someday, at his funeral, if it turns out he’s both. It was certainly satisfying to see all the people who denigrated Reagan during his tenure, gritting their teeth and smiling because they were afraid someone would remember that.

From now on, until something changes from my perspective, I’m spelling “Grassroots” as “T-W-O.”

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Related: Pure Politics

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