By Andrew L. Jaffee

Despite the fact that Dubya has incinerated his political capital through gross incompetence, I’m still only finding fresh political creativity on the Right — and this is coming from a recovered leftist.

I was at a “60s” party about a month ago, and inevitably, two guys were wearing Che Guevara t-shirts. They just don’t get it. I imagined the reaction if I were to have worn a Hitler t-shirt to their shindig. Heck, an American flag t-shirt would’ve turned heads there. I thought of John Lennon’s words from Revolution, he being the Left’s solely-claimed-for-their-own hero:

You say you want a revolution, well, you know
We all wanna change the world

You tell me that its evolution, well, you know
We all wanna change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out…

You say you’ve got a real solution, well, you know

We’d all love to see the plan…

But if you goin’ carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow…

At various and sundry events held by my left-wing friends, I’ve tried to discuss and “see the plan” — politely. What I get is Cletus, the Slack-jawed Marxist (image, above Left, all pun intended). I get 1) the deer-in-the-headlights look, 2) a complete change of subject, or 3) some very brief recitation of memorized, official dogma, probably read off the back of a Che t-shirt. Che only admitted to “a couple thousand” executions, but who’s counting? He meant well, right? Yuck…

So where have I turned for informed, comic-relief creativity? Places like the People’s Cube, writing about how, “Che Guevara [was] Captured In [a] Baghdad Raid.”

The satire is stark — so much so it hurts as the art imitates the Left’s current reality. The prose flows like honey as I breath in the words, laughing so hard I almost fall over. Here’s the People’s Cube:

A report released by the Pentagon confirms rumors that popular international terrorist Ernesto Guevara, better known under the nickname “Che” has been captured in a safe house south of Baghdad, during a routine raid operation conducted jointly by the new Iraqi police and the US Marines. His identity was immediately established by comparing his face to one of the Che Guevara T-shirts that lay scattered around the safe house.

Members of the al-Qaeda-linked terrorist group captured along with Che referred to him as the Hairy One but said he insisted that they call him al-Commandante and claimed that he was working to replace the late Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and even designed a Zarqawi T-shirt modeled after his own brand.

The other names the fellow cell members called him were The Smell of Mesopotamia (owing to his hygiene habits, poor even by al-Qaeda standards) and The Dumb Bunny because he couldn’t speak Arabic and expected Iraq to adopt Spanish as a second language.

Members of the group, all foreigners from neighboring Arab countries, shrugged at al-Commandante’s plans to spread the rebellion by plastering his visage on shirts, long male gowns, and even female burqas. But they praised the man’s bloodlust and the unmatched ability to hide behind the backs of women, to fire at soldiers from inside the crowd of children, and to torture unarmed prisoners in a manner that even seasoned al-Qaeda fighters found disturbing.

A search of the safe house revealed a makeshift factory for building explosive devices on the top floor, and a silk screen press in the basement, where thousands of freshly made Che Guevara shirts lay sorted by style, color, and sizes. The Iraqi police piled both the shirts and the explosives into one large heap in front of the house and detonated it all from a safe distance, sending hundreds of shirts flying into the air like a flock of large multi-colored vultures.

Some of the charred Che Guevara shirts have reportedly made their way to eBay and were sold to rich college kids in the US who pay outrageous sums of money for a chance to look like a mysterious rebel who murders parents to save the children.

   

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Related: Political Correctness, Communism / Socialism

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