… In 168 B.C.E. the Jewish Temple was seized by Syrian-Greek soldiers and dedicated to the worship of the god Zeus. This upset the Jewish people, but many were afraid to fight back for fear of reprisals. Then in 167 B.C.E. the Syrian-Greek emperor Antiochus made the observance of Judaism an offense punishable by death. He also ordered all Jews to worship Greek gods.
Jewish resistance began in the village of Modiin, near Jerusalem. Greek soldiers forcibly gathered the Jewish villages and told them to bow down to an idol, then eat the flesh of a pig – both practices that are forbidden to Jews. A Greek officer ordered Mattathias, a High Priest, to acquiesce to their demands, but Mattathias refused. When another villager stepped forward and offered to cooperate on Mattathias’ behalf, the High Priest became outraged. He drew his sword and killed the villager, then turned on the Greek officer and killed him too. His five sons and the other villagers then attacked the remaining soldiers, killing all of them. …
If you were truly/As keen and courageous as you claim to be/Grendel would never have got away with/Such unchecked atrocity…./But he knows he need never be in dread/Of your blade making a mizzle of his blood/Or of vengeance arriving ever from this quarter…./He knows he can trample down you Danes/To his heart’s content, humiliate and murder.
–Beowulf
The following is satire. If you don’t like it please don’t burn down anything.
Chairman Muhammad: “This meeting of the Revolutionary Committee of the Islamic Liberation Movement is called to order. The purpose of this meeting is to figure out what kind of video we can make to get back at the Americans. Brother Ali of the Research Committee has the floor.”
Chanukah was celebrated in grand style in the Sunshine State, as a veritable panoply of community leaders, an array of top tier Jewish performers and 13,000 people gathered for the 32nd annual South Florida Chanukah Festival. Sponsored by Chabad-Lubavitch of South Broward County, the event which was held on the 7th night of Chanukah, featured the very best in Jewish music, food and cultural traditions.
This is a version of “Taxman” by the Beatles in honor of Henry Waxman’s attempt to classify Jewish supporters of Republicans “greedy” and wrong in speaking up for Israel’s survival — against Obama’s dictates and advice. See Barry Rubin’s article.
The sign reads, “Delicious for Chanukak – Boneless Smoked Ham.” My grandmother would’ve been running around in circles screaming, “Oy, vey!” Maybe they could suggest some milk products to go with the ham. Found this on Facebook, and the comment accompanying the photo reads, “Dear Walmart, I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Love, The Jews:”
The commentary is in French, but you’ll get the point. Enjoy the satire, Islam à la française — and if ya’ can’t take a joke, move to Iran and become one Ahmadinejad’s thought police:
Sir Isaac Newton — no slouch, inventor of calculus, discoverer of the basic principles of planetary orbital motion, a father of optics, who elucidated gravity — predicted the world will end in 2060. Correspondingly, consider the list of “10 Failed Doomsday Predictions.” Now consider that evidence has surfaced showing that the much-over-hyped Mayan “prediction” of the end of the world in 2012 may be off-target:
… A new critique, published as a chapter in the new textbook “Calendars and Years II: Astronomy and Time in the Ancient and Medieval World” (Oxbow Books, 2010), argues that the accepted conversions of dates from Mayan to the modern calendar may be off by as much as 50 or 100 years. That would throw the supposed and overhyped 2012 apocalypse off by decades and cast into doubt the dates of historical Mayan events. (The doomsday worries are based on the fact that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012, much as our year ends on Dec. 31.) …
Hmmm… I’m still not convinced that the Maya “predicted” anything for 2012. Rather, their civilization collapsed, their astronomers lost their jobs, and probably stopped calculating calendric events (maybe just simple dates) when they reached 2012.
A suspicious looking character was caught on security video shoplifting at a Smith’s grocery store in Utah. Watching the tape, one can tell that he is good at what he does. He blended into the crowd of shoppers, was friendly, and seemed to know exactly where to go in the store to find what he was looking for. He grabbed the goods and then made a quiet and quick exit. The difference here? The shoplifter was a dog. From CNN:
Tomorrow is an important day for the U.S. as we’ll be choosing our next president. Yes, the stakes are high, but we need to have faith in our wondrous democratic system, artfully and presciently crafted by our great Founders. No matter who wins, we must respect the will of the electorate. We must all keep cool heads. Therefore I offer some comic relief; a chill pill; a reminder that humor is one of the highest human attributes. Meet the real Joe the Plumber:
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